A Toyota Land Cruiser 80 Series with a promising future*
*Future results may vary. Significantly.
Betsy was acquired to serve as a reliable working vehicle alongside Bruiser, Sean's beloved Toyota Land Cruiser 80 Series. The plan was simple: two trucks are better than one. Betsy would handle the tough jobs, spare Bruiser from unnecessary wear, and provide a backup when needed.
"I bought Betsy so I'd always have a working truck. She's not a parts vehicle - she's going to be fully functional."
- Sean, Day 1
Betsy was going to be great. Really great. The best second Land Cruiser anyone ever had.
What follows is a completely objective timeline of events that have absolutely nothing to do with Betsy becoming a parts donor.
Betsy arrives. Sean admires both trucks parked side by side. Takes photos. Posts on forums about his "two-truck setup." Michelle asks, "So this is a parts truck, right?" Sean spends 20 minutes explaining it's not. Michelle just smiles.
"I give it six months" - Michelle (she was generous)
Bruiser's front bumper sustains damage during a spirited off-road adventure. Sean notices Betsy's bumper is "slightly nicer." Temporarily swaps them "just to see how it looks." The swap becomes permanent.
"It's not cannibalization, it's resource optimization." - Sean
Bruiser's rear differential starts making concerning noises. Sean spends three days explaining why swapping Betsy's differential is "actually the logical thing to do" because "I'll definitely get Bruiser's rebuilt and put it in Betsy eventually."
A trailside repair requires axle shafts. Betsy happens to be nearby. Sean reasons that "she's not using them right now anyway."
Bruiser's fuel pump fails at 10 PM on a Sunday. Sean mounts an eloquent defense of why using Betsy's pump is not only acceptable but "actually proves she's serving her purpose as a working vehicle."
Before Bruiser's radiator fails, Sean performs what he calls "preventive swapping." Betsy's radiator is installed in Bruiser. Betsy's old radiator will go back on "once I get it flushed."
Sean backs Bruiser into a tree, badly denting the rear tailgate. Within hours, Betsy's pristine tailgate has been "temporarily relocated" to Bruiser. The dented one sits next to Betsy with a note: "Will fix and swap back."
"It's not permanent, I promise" - Sean
Bruiser fouls birfield joints quite often. After the third occurrence, Sean stops pretending he'll buy new ones and just keeps "borrowing" them from Betsy. Multiple times. At this point, Betsy has contributed so many birfield joints that Sean has lost count.
Bruiser ends up on its driver's side during an adventure, severely denting the door and destroying the mirror. Sean's solution? Swap in Betsy's entire driver's side door. At least this time he admitted it was easier than finding a replacement.
Betsy now has a dented door she never earned
Betsy sits in the driveway, increasingly stripped of parts. Sean maintains she is "definitely not a parts vehicle" and will be "back on the road soon."
Current estimate: 29% of original parts remaining
"Look, Betsy is NOT a parts vehicle. She's a fully operational Land Cruiser that happens to be temporarily sharing some components with Bruiser during a transitional maintenance period. All the parts will be returned or replaced, and she'll be back on the road. This is completely normal for anyone who owns multiple vehicles."
- Sean (updated weekly)
Note: This statement has been revised 47 times and counting.
"She's a parts truck. She's always been a parts truck. I called it on day one. Everyone knows it except Sean."
- Michelle (has not required revision)